Couples therapy

IBCT couples therapy

Not all the differences between you can be changed. But you can learn to accept them and handle them differently. IBCT combines acceptance with concrete change, for lasting calm in the relationship.

What is IBCT?

IBCT stands for Integrative Behavioral Couple Therapy. It is a form of couples therapy that grew out of cognitive behavioural therapy, but with a crucial addition: acceptance. Change is not the only focus; so is learning to tolerate and accept the things you cannot change.

IBCT recognises that partners always have differences. Introvert and extrovert. Orderly and spontaneous. Feeling-led and rational. Trying to change each other on these points often leads to frustration and distance. IBCT helps you understand the differences from each other's background, instead of seeing them as the enemy.

Scientific basis: IBCT has been tested empirically in several randomised studies. Christensen et al. (2010, Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology) showed that with couples facing severe problems, IBCT achieves better long-term results than traditional behavioural couple therapy. The APA recognises IBCT as a proven effective treatment for relationship problems.

How does IBCT work?

Acceptance and tolerance

You explore each other's personal differences and emotional sensitivities. Where do they come from? Understanding this reduces the friction. You learn not to demand that the other changes on points that are deeply rooted in their personality or history.

Behaviour change

Alongside acceptance you look at which communication patterns and behaviours can be changed. With concrete exercises and homework you build new habits.

Related complaints

Relationship problems Marriage problems Attachment issues Fear of abandonment Loneliness

Related treatments

EFT Couples therapy Systemic therapy Schema therapy

Frequently asked questions

What is the difference between IBCT and EFT? +

EFT focuses primarily on restoring emotional attachment and connection. IBCT combines behaviour change with acceptance of differences. Both are proven effective. Which suits you best is something you discuss with your provider.

Do we have to come together? +

IBCT is preferably followed as a couple, but individual IBCT sessions are also possible if your partner does not want to or cannot take part.

How long does a course of IBCT take? +

On average 12 to 26 sessions, depending on the situation. IBCT is a structured therapy with clear phases.

Getting started

Ready for a first conversation?

Book an intake with a certified provider. Together you will look at whether IBCT is the right approach for your situation.

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Sources: Christensen et al. (2010), Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology · Jacobson & Christensen (1996), Acceptance and Change in Couple Therapy